Modern Masculinity: Macari (25) SPANISH

 

 

As featured in Verity Journal No.2 paper edition as part of a panel of interviews with French and International young men.

 

 

What does it mean for you to be a man ?

To be a man, nowadays, its stepping aside, observing what’s going on the side of the gender spectrum. Women are going through a revolution and changing their place in society in such a radical way, your role as a man is just to step out of the spotlight, and support and integrate these changes into your life, hopefully your friends and your children will too.

 

 

How do you know you are in love?

Being in love, feeling love, comes with time.  It’s a long relationship. Friendship, anything that involves close distance and trust, mutual company. With time you realise something else is materialising, in the space between you and this other person, and that’s love. A huge investment of time with someone. Your concerns become their concerns, your interests become their interests and you just care a lot.

 

 

First time you were hurt by a man?

I remember emotionally a man hurt me (physically is less interesting), a very close friend of mine, I got deeply hurt by him. In the beginning it was a huge explosion of hate, it felt awful, I had a huge vacuum in my stomach, but with time, I healed that hatred. I understood. I came to peace with myself and this other guy as I matured, I learned to forgive, and well now we are closer than ever.

 

 

Who is responsible for your social conditioning?

My parents 100 percent. They had a huge impact on the way I grew up, my values, my ideas.

The Spanish government, the way that my culture has conceived my limitations when it comes to understanding social justice and social orientation. Netflix and HBO ! I consume a lot of tv shows, the idea of the exotic, and of what’s outside. I consume a small portion of what’s going on the world, a romanticised version of what life could be. It’s insane, it helps you broaden your expectations of what you want in life. It’s amazing, I love that.

 

 

What is the definition of femininity?

I feel this is going to be an unpopular answer.  By definition it’s what contrasts with masculinity.

For me a feminine woman involves calm and grace, a very classical definition. Femininity just grounds you, when you are too fired up, you’re not reasoning properly, the voice of femininity, it makes you settle down and think clearly, it gives you a broader understanding of the whole picture. Femininity, it feels good being around it.

 

 

What impassions you?

It depends on the occasion. When the world goes one way, and you go the other way. A small portion of the population realises something that is totally obvious. The way climate change is dealt with. I come from a place where politics are a very hot topic, a lot of people miss the original point of stuff and they get lost. That’s something that really gets me fired up. 

An original idea gets me super excited. Something that I build up from zero.

 

 

Who do you admire and why?

It’s so easy to be a fan of so many people these days, on instagram and on twitter,

Extremely young and talented people doing crazy projects. In my industry of cinema. Instagram is such a crazy place, you get to see incredible things.

Elena Martin Gimeno in Barcelona. She had her opening in IMMA in New York.

She has such a conscious career. It matches her values, and she puts her story out there, it’s necessary to turn your work into your “fight”, if you have something to say about the world, and you can say it through your work, you have won at life. A french guy, Lex in London (he ran Total Refreshment Centre), the church of sound project, he had the idea to turn churches into venues. He helps unknown artists get known, he’s done so much for music in such a short time.

 

What is the biggest challenge we face as humans?

So much stuff to be done. We need a structural change. The way of thinking and debating and organising, the ways that societies and countries work. This individualistic mindset has to change. We need to shift to a more altruist way of being and to stop being so self centred. We need to understand that our time on planet earth is very limited, and that other people will be here after us. If we change that, we will win a big fight.

 

 

When you make a mistake, how do you react?

I’m very open about my flaws. I feel like your flaw closet should be breezy and open. The more comfortable you are with your weak side, the better it is.

 

 

Do you feel weak faced with sexual needs and desires?

I’m sub-edited to my most primal needs, to eat, sleep and have sex. I’m very weak, I give up very fast. I just have to have it. I should work on that.

 

 

What is feminism for you?

That’s a loaded question. Feminism nowadays. I feel like it’s such a big word that it’s hard to find the branches of it. It needs to be incorporated in everything you do in your life. You should show your feminism when you order a meal in a restaurant, or ask for directions in the street, when you cue for the theatre, when you ask for a cigarette, it should be present all the time. It’s not such a revolutionary idea, we have just reached the point where we know what social justice is, so we should just act accordingly to that.

I feel like true feminism shows naturally.

 

 

How would you define your sexuality?

My sexuality is very primal. Physical and basic. High minded, my sexuality towards a woman can change based on the decoration of her room or a sweater that she is wearing, something that she says regarding a song that I like. All of that can alter sexuality. I would call my sexuality a little flakey.

 

 

Do you think other dimensions exist in the universe?

I love feeling so small and unimportant. I used to love listening to Ricky Gervais’ Deadly Sirius podcast, he invited scientists, and astrophysicists.

 

 

Were you ever misogynistic?

Perhaps. I have a bad memory. I have been triggered a lot by women in the past. Not because they are women. I am triggered easily by men too. 

 

 

Define freedom:

Freedom is needing as little as possible, not depending on external factors, detachment from things that you think you need, that is freedom. Freedom of time. Time consuming life-styles are the norm. Your phone, your job. Social life. Citizen duties. Having freedom of time is a key issue for our period in history.

 

 

Do you believe in fidelity?

Yes. Not in romantic relationships, but I do believe in transparency. In any kind of relationship where you have a trust relationship, you should let that person know what you want to establish, you should share with this other person. I think that transparency is a key word in a romantic experience.

 

 

What would you say to your president if you had 30 mins?

What is depressing about this question, is that what I would say would make no impact. Politics are so detached, it just seems like my country’s policy is so rooted in the history of the country that I would need some heavy duty dynamite to move it. Right now in Catalonia, the streets have been on fire for a few days. Everyone is on the street, being explicit about how they feel but no-one is listening. Nothing is changing. That is sad.

 

 

Biggest fear?

That I look back on my life, and I regret things.

 

 

Biggest dream?

The opposite, to reach a mature age and realise that I flowed through a life and made the world a little better. That life has been improved by my presence, at peace. Leaving a nice mark behind. I’d like to think that even if I will be forgotten my presence in life will be noticed for a long time after.